41. The Holy Debates - Part Two: The Double-Entendre

This has been put up just for you to enjoy the fun with English Language, and also for me to feel my ego.

One asureshma from the web (can't say a 'he', or a 'she', or an 'it', but in any case, let me assume a 'she' so as to be on the safer side of gender bias) comments on one of Swami Paramahamsa Nithyananda's videos posted on youtube; the numbers at the front indicate the time in the video recording when Swamiji made a statement -- (paraphrased) 'When Mother hands you over to Father, forget whatever you learnt from Mother. Same is true when Father hands you over to Master, and finally when Master hands you over to God. Then there will be nothing to remember. People will remember you.' -- which caused her to raise a brow and type with itchy hands:

48:39-49:18--Instead of forgetting, I prefer to Enrich my knowing from Mother,Father and Master.Moreover I dont seek the fame to remember by people.

My friend, A., who happened to see this comment, asks me, of all people, to reply to it. He, of course, doesn't want to be the only one having fun with replying to idiots, and wants to share this joy with me! What a man! Feel like bestowing him with some honor. Of course, I am no Musharraf. But at least you can understand my sentiments.

I feel like I should start my reply with the salutation, "Dear asur..." Yup! asur means demon in devlok, and it would have pleased Dogbert too! Unfortunately, A. insists that I shouldn't be doing that, and should keep the debate within bounds.

"Just defeat her flawed logic. Be Shankara," were his exact words.
"Adi, or anaadi?"
"Adi!"
Okay. So, here goes my reply (available on the web) -

In Zen, there is a proverb: "If you meet the Buddha, kill the Buddha." Do you know why it is said? It's not from a physical plane you should be killing Buddha... If you want to reach the ultimate goal, you have to surpass every step of the way!

Dear asureshma: You say, "I dont seek the fame to remember by people." You need not. You shouldn't. Just be Enlightened, and the unenlightened will follow you! Of course, there will be some with unthoughtful comments, but let us keep them aside. We are talking about you here, aren't we? Be in Bliss, as always!

Noticed the double-entendre?! I bet, both the Shankaras would be proud of me now! As A. remarks: you lovingly sliced her head so smoothly!

40. When a Veggie gets a Wedgie

'm now watching Showbiz India on Channel#8 (KTSF).

There is Reshma, the TV host, interviewing Neha Dhupia, some Bollywood actress. Neha is here along with a troupe to woo the desis of US with her dance, "and stuff". We learn that Neha is now vegetarian; which of course means, she used to have non-vegeterian food earlier.

Reshma asks Neha, what made her decide to go veggie? Neha replies in the Bollywood 'U-kno' English, "May be, it's the flight from India to New York!" Wah! What a super answer! A stupid question, but a super answer! I will remember to use it the next time I am asked that most frequently asked stupid question.

It reminds me of my experience with an inter-continental flight.

Before you proceed reading any further, time for a WARNING. HAS GRAPHIC CONTENT. Some scenes might not go well with your appetite. Visualize at your own discretion.

It was during one of my annual India trips on the Korean Air, departing from SFO-California, when I had to forcibly fast, thanks to some confusion. If you had ever fasted, you would know that when you fast, the rest of the day seems to never end. What a sluggishly slow sadistic Sun! Look at the power of the letter S. It can convert a laughter into a slaughter!

Enough of alliteration... Taking you back to my story... I had pre-ordered "Hindu meal" on the flight, which for all the holy reasons that come to my holy mind, should be vegetarian, whichever way I look at it. Unfortunately, the Koreans decide what a Hindu eats on their flights! Hare KORishna!

As per the Korean Air website, a Hindu meal, classified under "Religious Meals" section, is:
- Meal prepared for Indian people.
- No beef or pork.

Holy Korean Cow, with those tiny Mongoloid eyes, I say! And ya, Holy to the Korean Pig too! No other specifications, especially on what is included in the Hindu meal is given. This you are supposed to learn when it is served in the flight. Talking of in-flight surprises!

When my food arrived, I opened the main meal package, eager to gulp it in no time. I first thought it was a roasted Korean cauliflower of some tasteless variety. No sooner had I gulped the first piece, than the tiny bulb in my head, which runs on plant energy, lit! Was that a chicken breast I just ate?! Or was it the buttock portion?!!! I never had either of those before, but I was damn sure it had something to do with the rooster family. It surely woke me up from my unconscious eating, and stopped me from doing more harm to the Korean chicken.

When I asked the steward to get me a HINDU meal, I was told, THAT was IT! I felt like expounding on the Sanskrit verse: tat tvam asi, but their broken English left much to desire. Had that chicken been alive, it surely would have sided by me, even though it had to go against its Korean brethren. That, I can bet on!

The bad thing about making a wrong food choice in a two flight trip is that you can't expect anything better in the upcoming flight too! My damn luck! On the next flight, I didn't even attempt to open the packed meal. I wasn't curious to know who will crawl out next.

Finally, the long-drawn-out growlingly empty trip ended with a joyous welcome from my parents. It made worth all the trouble.

[Note: To keep the content of this posting short, I haven't included the portion where the customs officer slaughters a starving veggie. May be next time...]

These days, when I plan my India travel, I ensure that I enquire everything about the food contents before buying the air ticket. The Korean Air's Asian Vegetarian Meal seems palatable to my pate.

While you are here, don't forget to check out the Korean Air website for their understanding of "Strict Asian Vegetarian Meal"!!! It says no to meat, dairy, egg, and root vegetables. If any of you has the courage to order it, do mail me your experiences. I would love to read it with a sadistic smile :-]

Until then, enjoy your weekend.

39. How will an Enlightened Master react now?

A talk by Paramahamsa Nithyananda on His first samadhi experience which happened 17 years ago on Buddha Purnima day, when he was just 12 years of age.

Enjoy! Nithyanandam!