2. Even without my cognition, I am!

What I understand by enlightenment... (typing as thoughts come and go)
- To know myself...

What I mean by myself?
- myself... separate from name/body, which was given to me by my parents...
... separate from my mind which is ever changing...
... separate from everything which I call mine, even the idea that it's 'my self'...
... the stable backround where all these events occur

Now the question arises.. how to know That?
- if i am not the mind, will my mind be able to know myself?
... since i am the source for the mind, analogous to this question would be...
... can a painting know the painter?
... can a cartoon character know the cartoonist? can a fictional character know the author?
... can a dream object know the dreamer?

If I analyze the last question on the dreamer and the dream object...
... am I a dream object in someone else' dream?
... But I know for sure that I exist... even when I am in deep sleep...
... actually, thats the only thing I am certain of in this ever-changing world and mind space...
... Hence I can't question my existence and equate it to a dream object...

Lets say I am the Absolute as the enlightened souls say...
... Then why am I not aware of it?
... They say, to know That I need to let go of whatever I have accumulated so far... including my notion about myself...

Why is it that I am not at ease with the feeling of losing my identity...
...What am I afraid of?... Is it the feeling that They may be wrong... or the feeling that what if I don't succeed, will I be accepted by the so-called unreal world? or will I lose both the worlds...

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Reminds me of a story from my Vedanta class: There was a lunatic in a village who thought he was a cat. With this impression, he was afraid of the dogs and hence confined himself to his house. The other members of his household got worried and showed him to a psychiatrist. With the psychiatrist's treatment, his condition got better, and he soon got back to his senses. However, he still wasn't leaving his house. He now reasoned that he now knows he is not a cat, but do the dogs know that?
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