Saturday, July 07, 2007

48. In the Name of Thy God in Dog-Heaven...

Mumbai, it seems, has woken up to the stray dog menace. Bruhan-Mumbai Municipal Corporation (BMC) Chief Jayraj Pathak has gone to the extent of saying, "Kill all stray dogs!"

BMC is now planning to appeal to the Supreme Court the right to "kill" this menace, which of course is opposed by dog lovers seated in lavish homes with 10 acres of backyard enclosed by 10 feet high compound walls and who have no one but their pomeranians to make them feel like the most important persons on this planet!

According to "unofficial" figures, there are about 2 lakh stray dogs in Mumbai alone! I think we should stop relying on 1990 census data (is someone maintaining this website?) and redo the counts this year. And this time, the survey questions should also include breed, creed, caste, race, religion by birth, religion by faith, religion by marriage, privileges enjoyed to-date based on minority quota, nationality (we don't want our tourism industry to lose their valued clients, do we?), educational qualification, bank balance and other assets, profession, value addition to the country, and so forth, barring gender (no gender bias, please!). That would help the BMC determine how many sterilization syringes to order, how many butchers to hire, and how many electrocution chairs to purchase; not to forget the imported vanilla coated dog biscuits for mutts with good Samaritan behavior, such as for this dog which saved a 7-year old boy named Dinakaran (that's the name of the boy, not the dog) when the Tsunami hit their town!

Meanwhile, I have just now received breaking news on my blueberry* from an unnamed source† in Mumbai: The dog lovers have sued BMC for calling them bitches! How insulting, imbecile, ironical!

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* I know you will say, "It's called blackberry, idiot!", but mind you, you haven't seen my berry yet!
His father forgot to give him a name.

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