36. The Holy Debates

There are times in life when you face an adamant mind to whom you want to put forth your viewpoint, and who, for all holy reasons is not concurring with you! Lets say that you too are adamant to not give way to the other person! After all, its a Holy Debate!

Now how you face this situation, is based on your personality. Let me share my experiences.

Yesterday, while watching the news on TV, my roomie (nope, not the one who messed up my pressure cooker, and ya, there are more roomies in my house than birds in the bush,) suddenly blurted out a generalized statement as soon as he heard some news piece on a Baba (Hindu Monk), "All Babas are corrupt... Behind our backs they act *unholy* with girls..." (A few words have been modified so as to conform to the blog's censor board.)

Now if you are against making generalized statements, but wouldn't want to mess it with a long drawn debate, how will you deal with this remark? It really helps when you have some information about the person you are dealing with. Then you can put in relevant examples to bring home your point.

In my case, I knew this roomie had just bought a 2nd hand car and was driving it illegally (ya, *illegally*, you read it right the first time) on the roads of the United States of America with neither a US state driving license/permit nor an auto insurance, nor the legal paper which says "I am the registered owner of the vehicle I am currently driving"! He had his Indian license and the experience of driving on Indian roads... but, that's besides the point.

So, to make him understand the issue with his viewpoint -- I am talking of his generalized Baba-remark and not his qualifications for a visit to the Shawshank prison -- I just put one counter argument: "Tomorrow you will say all those driving on the US roads are driving without a valid license or an auto insurance!" and there was a smirk on his face.

So, it was quite easy to argue with a known person. But, when you deal with creepy characters online, you are left with only their written words to understand their psyche. It gets more challenging to even make them understand what you are saying, leave alone make them agree with you!

Some key points from my experience with the invisible minds:

1. Start your argument with "I agree with you on ...", say some good thing about their comment which will at least make them receptive to what you will say next. And then add a "However," to follow up with what you really want to say!
2. Elaborate your point by way of examples, usually the witty ones. Since you can't make out who is at the other end, use relevant jokes which aren't racist or offensive to a particular group/sect, or else you will start a debate within a debate! Oh Boy! God save you, if that happens!
   
3. If you are still not able to make things clear, then there is the Ogden Nash poem which you can use to put an end to the debate and get on with your life:

When people reject a truth or an untruth it is not
because it is a truth or an untruth that they reject it.
No, if it isn't in accord with their beliefs in the
first place they simply say, "Nothing doing,"
and refuse to inspect it.

Likewise when they embrace a truth or an untruth it
is not for either its truth or its mendacity,
But simply because they have believed it all along
and therefore regard the embrace as a tribute to
their own fair-mindedness and sagacity.

Enjoy one such duel of the minds at: Antarananda's Blog.

Note: At this point of writing this blog posting, I have gotten the news that my Shawshank-qualified roomie has just passed his DMV written test for a driving permit, and is well underway to get the other two mandatory things done.